I'm not really an anxious or over-protective parent. At least I don't think.
But there is this thing I sometimes do that I just recently admitted.
Sometimes, every once in a while, I take a quick peek under my son's bed to make sure there are no dangerous things lurking under there. I'm not exactly sure what I'm looking for but something compels me to do it. Snakes? Rabid mice? Raccoons? I'm not sure.
I told this to a friend of mine and she said I was crazy. Which is likely true.
So I promised myself I would stop doing that.
I also decided last Saturday that I was going to be calm and relaxed throughout the whole holiday weekend…
By "play ball" I mean they play with all the balls randomly which results in the yard being littered with them.
The baby is struggling to reach the ball under my chair.
My husband bends down to grab it.
At first I think he is making a huge deal over a ball, that it can't possibly be that hard to reach. I'm lazy and relaxed and don't want to get up.
The "secret tone" is the one that you use to show your partner that something very serious is happening but you do so in such a way as to not scare the kids. You are basically yelling, "HOLY SHIT!" calmly, quietly and in code.
Meanwhile, he takes a photo.
Mama bear has taken over and calm and relaxed are gone. I sprint to the door and snatch up the little ones on the way, leaving my husband to deal with the spider and to check the other chairs for more.
I'm not afraid of spiders. I'm terrified of black widows.
Even though we are safely inside and nothing bad happened, my mind goes over scenario after scenario of horribleness. I can't stop thinking about how close we all were, blindly reaching under there, right where she was dangling. An endless loop of images of how it could have gone badly.
I'm tense and deep in anxious thoughts.
But it wasn't the spider trying to get in.
I let him in, but not until I take a really good look to make sure there aren't any black widow hitchhikers on his body.
He fully knows (and makes fun of) my black widow phobia.
(Just in case there are any non-parents reading, "bedtime routine" is not something sexy. It means putting the kids to bed which is a long and arduous process that is much worse than it sounds.)
To which I reply…
I did, of course, do the bedtime routine that night.
(I posted the spider photo, by the way, on my @AmberDusick Twitter feed on July 2 if you want to see the real thing. I don't blame you if you don't.)