I love it when Crappy Boy tries on a new word and gets it just wrong enough that it creates a different word. Like this…
Crappy Boy is eating cheese crackers.
He munches on one and then looks up at me and says:
Wow, really? How could that be? They are organic and everything!
Wait a minute. This can’t be right. Maybe I misheard him.
And he explains…
Those damn immoral elves.
—————
Apparently, Crappy Papa told him about the LOTR elves and immortality because they saw a cardboard cutout of Legolas in a store recently.
I think this means he still believes in elves. Yay! Elves are awesome. (Immoral ones excluded.)
Bahaha! Those darn immoral elves….gotta watch out for them!
Lol, this happens here too.
LOL, “immoral” elves is hilarious!
My daughter calls pineapples “piney balls”!
This made me laugh inappropriately!
Me too! So ashamed. My mind is in the gutter.
I went there, too. “Kids say the darnedest things”… 🙂
Those damn immoral elves are always messing things up!
Bwaawaawaa! I laughed out loud at work!
Good one! That’s like my son calling my dad’s prosthetic leg his “prophetic leg.” 🙂
Ha! Love that!
Hilarious! My four-year old has said that one too!
Love it!
My boys say stuff like this all the time too, but for the life of me I can’t think of any examples. Darned mommy brain.
My daughter used to call parmesan cheese, farmer johns cheese! I don’t know how eating crackers makes him immortal or immoral!
A magical ingredient?
my son for a while wanted to put Kindergarten water on all his boo boos — what is kindergarten water you ask –> used bath tub water.. umm gross.
Evidently it is the cure all.
My daughter calls corn on the cob ” corn on
the knob”!
One year we were talking about the fact that summer was quickly approaching. My young son said, “I can’t wait for corn on the bone!”
These are really making me chuckle! =)
Ah yes…little children learning new words. Almost every day, I have to correct my 3 year old on the pronunciation of new-to-him words. It’s like this scene from Step Brothers:
Pam: (Interviewing Brennan) Well, Brennan you certainly have had a lot of jobs.
Brennan: I’m a bit of a spark plug…and, Human Resources Lady, I think…
Pam: You know, actually, it’s Pam.
Brennan: I’m sorry. Well, Pan…
Pam: No, my name is PAM.
Brennan: Are you saying Pam? or Pan?
Pam: I’m saying Pam. Yeah, I’m sorry, who is this gentlemen behind you? (Dale pokes his head out from behind Brennan)
Dale: Hello, Ms. Lady! I’m Dale, I’m Brennan’s stepbrother, and I think I may be able to help with the Pan-Pam dilemma.
Brennan: Yeah, that’d be great.
Dale: Pan.
Pam: Pam.
Brennan: Pand…There’s a D on the end.
Dale: With an M.
Pam: There’s no D. it’s Pam.
Dale: It’s like “Comb” except P-A-N-M. N-N. There’s two N’s.
Brennan: Two M’s. That was the confusion.
I died laughing over this. Such a great scene!!
My eldest, who is now ten, gets the words right, but then overuses them or misuses them. Of course, all children abuse the word “unfair”, because any time they don’t get what they want it’s “so unfair”. But she’s recently taken to using the word “inappropriate” a lot, she uses it to mean she doesn’t like something. I suspect it’s used at school instead of old-fashioned “bad”. Often she tells me her dinner is inappropriate. I’m sorry to say I laugh at her when she does this. Probably means I’m a terrible mother.
Ha, dinner is inappropriate! That is funny!
When my first was little, she thought tasty meant gross. It came from a Johnny and the Sprites short about how you should share your lettuce with your friends. She didn’t like lettuce, so when the mole said, “But it’s so tasty!” she thought that meant bad. It was so funny.
I love it when that happens! One time my son was telling me about a show he watched in NatGeo where a guy got impaled by a swordfish. He exclaimed, “Yeah! And he had eternal bleeding and everything!”
Oh no, eternal bleeding! Sounds serious!
My daughter may have overheard me once or twice calling the dog/husband/etc. a ‘pain in the behind’….then one day I heard her telling her little brother he was a pain in the BEEHIVE! That is now the favorite expression around our house. 🙂
I’m glad to see we’re not the only LOTR nerds spreading our nerdiness onto the next generation! 🙂
Kate
I tried to get my little girl to stop saying ‘what’ all the time, so taught her the word ‘pardon’. So now, when she mishears something you say, she’ll go around saying ‘garden?’ I didn’t get it the first time, why she was repeating ‘garden’ over and over, so kept saying ‘garden what? I don’t understand!’ resulted in a shout in her biggest shouting voice ‘WHAT IS GARDEN!! GARDEN IS POLITE!!’
Ha ha. I love this.
My daughter used to call Mac n’ cheese “monkey cheese”.
Ah, yes Lembas bread.
“One small bite is enough to fill the stomach of a grown man.”
–Legolas
Why do I know this?
because you are numbered among the amazing!
DM of the Rings, anyone?
Not for the sensitive: Secret Diary of Legolas (fanfic).
Because everyone *should*, Kali. =)
My 4 year old told me her stuffed reindeer is “turnal”. “What?” I asked. “Turnal. It’s awake in the daytime”. Ahh… Turnal! The opposite of not-turnal.
That’s hilarious 🙂
I love that!
Cute!
It’s kind of fun when you figure out one of these puzzles. 🙂
Bahaha!
Haha! Cute! My five yr old son used to call Parmesan ‘Tom Bergeron’. Lol! It’s harder to say than the actual word! I think he and his dad watched too much AFV 🙂 We sent a video in, but they prob thought we got him to do it…
lol when we go pick berries my 3 year old keeps telling me the fairies are slapping him because he is stealing their food. Meanwhile it’s mosquitos.
Haha immoral elves…also a pretty impressive addition to his vocabulary (even if he doesn’t realize it yet).
My 4 year old likes to ask me about books I have read/am reading, so he knows all of the LOTR characters as well. He has always had this thing where he likes to twist my rings around, especially when he is tired, so he now goes into this creepy whisper and will say “me wants my preciousssss”.
Oh no! Have you checked that he is ageing at the normal rate?
LOL
Seems to be.. .though he is a bit on the skinny side and has been known to run around naked.
we need to hook up all our kids and have them play in Middle Earth! LOL
LOL, we’re in.
I live in New Zealand – so you can all camp in my backyard if you want. I’ll fill my 2.5 year old in… he’s a bit busy helping me learn about midwifery at the moment – but we can take a break for the important stuff…
That is one awesome 4 yo.
Haha this is awesome!
Pure awesome… note to self: teach son to do this 🙂
When my sister was little our brother had a Terminator action figure that spoke and it said the catch phrase ‘hasta la vista baby” (sp?), she thought he was saying “Happy Easter Baby” and for years that was how she said goodbye to people.
LOL! This is hilarious!
My absolute favorite thing my daughter goofed up saying was DMV. She called it the damnV. I always giggled so hard. Especially since we were going there 3 times in one week for their goof up.
DamnV is such a better name.
More accurate too!
My 4-year-old says DamnV too! He used to say cheesefurger, but he doesn’t anymore even though I still do. He still says Mapkin instead of napkin, tho.
I wish I could say it was my kids, but it wasn’t. It was me. About 15 years ago… I was horsing around with my folks, and during the wresting match my dad raised his arm and his. Pit-hair. Touched. Me. (Quite traumatic for a 12 year old girl). I tried to liken it to the “tentacles” of a sea monster….. But what I actually said was, “Oh my God! His testicles are gonna get me!” #stillhaventliveditdown #non-creepy-vocabfail
LOL!
I just peed myself reading this!
OMG I laughed so hard I had to cover my mouth and hold tight to keep from waking up the kids!
Holy poop I’m laughing so hard right now!!!!
We took our 22-month old to Denny’s this week and it was decorated for the 4th of July. She was so excited to recognize the decorations she kept yelling, “Look, Mama, a [flag]!” … But without being able to pronounce the L sound yet. Oh dear. I just kept trying to repeat loudly, “Yes, a FLAG!” hoping people would laugh and not be offended…
Those are always the times they start yelling, too! My two year old has that problem, only she says fag instead of tag. “Mommy, cut the fag” isn’t really something I want to hear in the middle of storytime!
My son has this problem with “clock”…
haha – my 5 y.o. had hearing issues until we got tubes put in at 3… and until the tubes were done, we did NOT discuss SOCKS in public!! LOL!! Amazingly enough, the night he came home from his surgery, he could finally pronounce it correctly… *whew*
Mine had this problem with “truck”. Yep, the big F-bomb. For MONTHS! The kids at church would show him trucks just to get him to say it.
LOL …. my mom loves to tell the story of how I was obsessed with “Kentucky” Fried Chicken as a toddler – only I couldn’t say “Kentucky” as I was only about 2 years old. She said I used to proclaim loudly in the grocery store, “I don’t want you to make chicken, I want F*@#ky Fried Chicken!” 38 years later and I’m still hearing about that one! 🙂
Those made-up words continue on in my house even though my children are grown. A personal fave was from my son who wanted to use ‘geez o petes!’ and it came out as “cheese’o’wheats!”
My mother started a book for each of her grandchildren with all of their funny quotes and some of the silly things they have done. It is so fun to go back and read them.
Much to my husband’s chagrin, our daughter refers to her Leapster as her “cooter.” You’ve never heard such perfect diction as when he corrects her!
* “cooter,” as in “computer,” I should add!
My son calls socks “cocks.” We laugh everytime he says “I found Batman cock!”
We should really work on that one.
Mine too! Makes us laugh every time too. Best is when he finds one of his father’s socks. “Daddy cocks?”
OMG may have peed myself laughing so hard at that one!
oh my goodness, these are all hilarious!
My daughter says cock instead of “clock” or “talk”… it has given birth to many more embarrassing situations than I can count.
For example, the time when she yelled out at a dinner party “NO. MORE. COCK!” to our guests (who were apparently talking too much)
Or the time she spied a clock behind the bakery counter at Fred Meyer and yelled out “Look mommy! I see a BIG cock back there!” …yeah, that one turned a few heads.
When my daughter first noticed the Disney princesses that are, y’know, everywhere, she wanted to hear their names and recite them back to us. “I see Ariel, Snow White, and Mozzarella!” (Cinderella, with an upgrade in my opinion.)
I could really get behind a princess called Mozzarella.
HA! Our daughter used to call Sleeping Beauty “Seeping Booty”.
i would get so immoral with legolas…
Hear! Hear!
LOL
Yep
Oh yeah!!!
Just yes.
Too cute!
We lived on the coast when my neices were very little. The older one loved announcing every bridge and the younger one was delighted with shellfish. But Unfortunatly every car trip was a chorus of loud, excited, explitives! “Bridge! Bridge! Bridge! and A Crab! A Crab!” Don’t come out right when you’re that little!
My son (4) was munching on a plate of baby octopus one time and proclaimed (loudly!) that “octopus have eight testicles!” DH and I laughed. Hard.
as a kid i loved grilled cheese, but couldn’t quite get the words out. my mother always said i was the creator of the “girl cheese sandwich”.
We also enjoy “girl cheeses” courtesy of my son! I used to tell my daughter “I love you to pieces.” One day she said, “Mommy, I love you to pizzas too.” Who doesn’t like pizza?
Loving to pizzas is a lot of love!
Our firstborn couldn’t say the R sound. It was adorable, until one day in a fairly nice restaurant, she dropped her fork. And called loudly for it…”Fork! Fork! Fork!”
Except without the R sound…it didn’t sound like FORK.
Ahem.
Too cute. Last year my then-3-year-old told me his favorite plant was the “famous” fly trap. 🙂
Ours calls caramel corn, “Carnal corn.”
I laughed so hard at this!!
Being from the South, one of the sayings that you hear a lot is, “Hold your horses!”, meaning,for those who might not know, to slow down. The other day, I was walking somewhere with my 2 year old and apparently I was walking too fast for her because she said, “Mama…hold your nurses!” Huh? ‘Nurses’ are her word for boobs…lol. It took me a minute to figure out why I needed to hold my boobs. ;p Needless to say, I walked a little slower after that!
My 4 year-old son told me the other day that we could probably find it at “Toys Or Else” — seriously, how is that NOT the name of that store??
omg!! Someone help! I.can’t.Breathe!!! And I agree… it SHOULD be called “Toys or Else.” AHAHAH.
BEST re-naming ever.
Sounds like a threat – which is how I’ve always viewed that store!!
My Mr3 year old calls bras “boobs” and “boob things”.
Walking past lingerie section of department store “Mummy look at all those pretty boobs”
*walk faster while giggling insanely*
My daughter calls them “poofs” and must feel each one as we walk down the main aisle in Target.
My 2.5 year old daughter calls them “goobs”, and I die laughint EVERY single time she says it!
lol. that’s a good one.
My toddler’s “almost” word is calling his friend Teddy “Teh-day”. Sounds like today.
Heh heh. My 3 year old calls her magic wand her magic blonde. She also once said to me that she was sick and had a beaver (fever).
I just wrote a blog on this very thing, except your’s is MUCH funnier and these comments have me snorting and wheezing like a deranged lunatic.
My favorite thing my 3 year old said recently:
He put one of his play food’s down my shirt and said, “Look Momma, you got a pickle in your boobs!”
He is is father’s son. For sure.
http://www.librarianmom.com/2012/06/27/kidhumor/
When we were little, my sister would scream “I’m not ticklish!”, but really mean she didn’t want to be tickled. Because she certainly IS ticklish!
My son can not for life of him say ‘airplane.’ It is, don’t you know, a ‘hair plane.’ And computers are ‘pooters.’ Sometimes they are even ‘peters.’ The language of our littles is so complex. 😉
Yeah, my own Crappy Baby has had issues with both “frog” and “fork”–eliminating the “R” sound creates some eyebrow-raising incidents when she’s exclaiming over a rather large frog or asking adamantly where her fork is. *sigh*
Did his dad tell him about lembas bread, then? 🙂
Maybe he did and that is how he got it confused, thinking that the lembas bread was what made them immortal. Totally possible!
When my niece was little, my sister went to get her from a long nap and exclaimed that her diaper was “Soakin’ wet!”. Later when she wasn’t getting her way, my niece told my sister she was “Soakin’ mad!” We all use “soakin'” now to stress all sorts of stuff.
Oh, yes, my friend’s son used to use boiling in the same way. From when he’d reach for something hot and his mother would say “don’t touch that, it’s boiling hot!”. So if he had a lot of fun it was “boiling fun”.
my son often yells out “illiterate” – he is 3
I love this. My five-year-old is adamant that Chuck E. Cheese is actually called Chuckie Cheez-Its. Nothing will convince him otherwise. =)
My daughter used to tell me she loved Jesus all the time. Then one day we drove past Chuck E. Cheese’s and she said “look, mommy, Chuckie Jesus” Oooooh, no WONDER she loves Jesus so much LOL!
A friend of mine’s little boy has a new favorite word: clock. Which he says constantly. Except he can’t pronounce the “l” so…
For my little girl, raspberries are raspbabies. We couldn’t help but nurture that one, because really, “raspbabies” is a much cuter word for them. Bluebabies (blueberries) also works, but we discovered that blackbabies (blackberries) didn’t sound so great.
On a different note, we have some Australian friends, and she wondered why they say things differently than we do. I explained to her about accents, so now every time she hears someone say something differently she explains to us that that person has an “accident,” and that is why they say it that way. It’s too cute to correct her. Yeah, yeah, we’ll pay her therapy bills when she gets older.
I enjoy the cuteness of mispronounced words, so rarely ever corrected, unless it sounded inappropriate or presisted into the school years. Flip Flops were Flop Flpos and pine cones were pine corns. 🙂
HILARIOUS!!!
Elves r awesome, ESP LOTR elves…. We just have Robots, according to my 4yo boy, those darn robots have broken things…mostly in my room… Weird… 🙂
My 4 yo can almost say “restaurant”, it comes out “restonaut”. I bet it’d be fun to eat in a restaurant with an astronaut theme.
My daughter sometimes gets a bad case of “pine cones and needles” in her leg when sitting in one position too long.
She also likes to play super hero and pretend her little brother is her “psychic”.
One of my youngsters was relating the story of how a zoo had to capture an escaped tiger and told me that “they had to shoot it with a tantalizing dart.” I laughed out loud and then thought to myself, “oooh, I want one of those!”
LOL, my 2nd child’s first word was “kitty”, but he said his K’s like T’s…
My favorite part, if there is such a thing in this blog is:
“Wow, really? How could that be? They are organic and everything!”
I wonder….have the immoral elves met the inappropriate elf from Babyrabies.com? lol!!!!
Those must be the immoral elves he was talking about! (Was very careful not to let him see the computer when I was looking at the entries for the contest!)
My daughter’s favorite Chinese dish is teriyaki chicken, only she used to pronounce it “very yucky chicken” lol. It was so embarrassing when the waitress asked how our meal was and my daughter yelled “I had very yucky chicken!”
My daughter came into me and said very indignantly ‘daddy just tickled my trumpets’ (armpits). I also got a dressing down from my mother telling me I had to watch my language around our little girl as she was repeating bad words – when I queried what she was saying, it transpired she was misprouncing ‘blanket’ to ‘bollock’.
LOVE this…. 🙂 Thanks for sharing
So far Lita is too young to pronounce anything clearly enough that we can understand or misunderstand yet.
Although the big joke in my husband’s Sicilian family is my mishearing how they answer the phone: “Pronto! Que parla?” (hello who’s speaking?) I answered the phone when his mama called once, smartly thinking I’d impress her by speaking Sicilian, “Pronto! Que paga?” which means “hello, who’s paying?”
Yup even his Nonna (gramma) in Sicily answers the phone this way now. I’m legendary in Sciacca too. Fabulous. Ha
Although I think I even typed it wrong here just now too. I think it’s (kee) not (kay) parla and I’m not certain how it’s spelled. (is it qui?) Stupid Spanish only training in HS and college. ::facepalm::
Chi instead of Que…. close enough! I like that you have international fame 🙂
Yep I love those words that aren’t quite right. We were putting my daughters favorite shoes on the other day because we were going to visit her grandmother… “Yay, Nonna’s going to be soooooo pissed!” Umm, she might have a drink or 2 but I don’t think she’ll be pissed honey. “No Mum, she’s going to be so pissed with my sparkly shoes!” Ahhhh, impressed. Just hope she hasn’t been telling all her friends about Nonna being pissed.
One of my twin 3 year old girls has gotten very attached to 6 penguin stuffed animals. She has a hard time saying the word though. She yells, “I want my penis”. “where’s my penis”. “don’t touch my penis” “I need the big penis”. “momma I just saw a penis”. Sigh. My husband and I try really hard not to laugh but it is so hilarious and inappropriate at the same time.
Oh my gosh, I had to stop reading this while I’m at work waiting for a meeting to start, because I was laughing out loud and people are looking at me strangely. 🙂 So funny.
I’m trying to teach my son baby signs but he uses the same sign for everything, it’s actually kinda cute and funny, but not very helpful, until he figures it out!
That’s a good one, and so cute.
For a while my boy used the ‘toilet’ sign for Dada.
I was impressed one time when he applied the only sign he knew for ‘flying thing’ (aka ‘bird’) for a mosquito, and the next time for an aeroplane.
Our three-year-old has a whole slew of just-for-her vocabulary, too. When she spins too fast, she gets “busy.” When she hiccups, she tells me she has the “make-ups.”
We really started working on her diction when she discovered dump trucks, though. As others have said, the “tr” came out as an “f,” and the “p” in dump was just left off altogether. The day we finalized her adoption, the case in front of us took much longer than expected, and we had to change courtrooms, which meant crossing the street to the other building. Fortunately, the judge didn’t cross with us – three dump trucks passed by us in the time it took to cross the street, and DD was VERY excited about them. 😀
A friend of mine once told me he overhead his young daughters arguing, and one said importantly to the other “oh you, you’re such a hitacrip!” Ah, he thought, she’s somehow overheard a grown up argument containing the word… hypocrit.
When my oldest was about 6 we were out at a restaurant with a friend of mine and he was cold. My friend offered him her sweater and he eyed her suspiciously before loudly asking if her sweater was bisexual….. Apparently someone tried to tell him about unisexual clothes. He’s 17 now and we still laugh about it 🙂
My 4 year old is about to start school so we are having to correct some of her cute sayings. Our favourite is when she says “harden me” instead of “pardon me”. The other day she told me “I’m cuter than yellow”, she actually had all the words right – yellow is her favourite color. Thanks for the early morning giggles.
ha ha yes Immoral Elves!, they are my favourite kind of elves fo shaow!
We were driving down the road and I my 8 yr old said something sarcastic to his friend. He looked at his friend who clearly didn’t get the sarcasm and said “I’m being psychotic, dude.
When we were little my brother used to call Spaghetti Bolognaise … Spaghetti by the Neighbours.
Love our neighbours for feeing us 😉
I watched The Fellowship of the Rings with my 4-year-old, up until they form the Fellowship (so nothing TOO scary,) and she insisted that Legolas wasn’t an elf. “He’s too big. And he doesn’t have a pointy hat!”
When I was in kindergarten, I came home and told my parents we learned all about the Penis at school. My parents were horrified. They asked for clarification. “The PENIS! You know, the Nina, the Penis, and the Santa Maria!”
This is the most hilarious post I have read in a LONG time– LOL-by-myself hilarious.
I came home when my ds was about two, and his very conservative 12 or 13yo babysitter was appalled. She said he kept saying “F**ky, f**ky, f**ky” over and over again. I was mortified. She kept saying “uh-huh, where did he get that?” indicating that I taught it to him. Um, no way! Took me like 4 more days to figure out that he was saying “funky, funky, funky” but couldn’t pronounced the “n” ::facepalm::
Then when he was older….about 4 or 5…he was trying to sound sophisticated, I guess, and concluded *everything* he said with “upon my circumstance”. Drove me up.a.wall.
Oh yeah– and also, around age 2 or 3, behind the requisite little old lady in the grocery store line, “Does Nana have a vagina, too?” Oh gawd…with perfect diction. At the quietest moment in the store’s history. In his “outside voice”.
Talk about wanting to die 🙂
Those are all awesome stories.
You just made me laugh out loud!
My son loves to play ring around the rosy. He requests this game by yelling “Ashes! Ashes! Down!” over and over again at top volume, but replaces the “h” with another “s”. He does this in public and invites others to play along by pointing at them while he yells, sometimes adding “you” before it. Lots of raised eyebrows so far!
He’s my mean little king, demanding that the donkeys bow down before him.
When my son was 2 he couldn’t pronounce motorcycle so instead he called them “mo fo’s”. Not sure where he got that. It would sound particularly bad when we were walking into the store from the parking lot and he would start pointing everywhere while screaming “Mo fo!”
I am loving everyone’s comments! This one made me crack up!
Instead of saying “reptiles”, my son says “errectiles”… And as much as we try to correct him, he says that is how he likes to say it…
My son (now 17) was 3 or 4 when he pulled his most embarrassing phrase mix-up. He was helping his dad with the installation of programs on the computer. In the middle of the store he announced that he helped daddy with “masturbation”. The fact that earlier that week he had made beeping noises when the lady in front of them backed up just added insult to injury.
LOL
My now 3yo used to say “farp” instead of “fart”. Being her fathers daughter, she would often announce “I farped”.
Of course she has a little of mommy in her, too, since she belches REALLY loud then in her normal “cute little girl” voice quietly says “scuse me!”. Makes me wonder if people nearby think I have trained her to take the rap for me or something, because nothing that loud should come from such a cute little thing!
I was on a road trip with my two and three year olds last week. I pointed out some low lying clouds in the valley and said, “Hey guys, look at the fog!”
My two year old blurted out, “Hop, hop!”
I said, “No, it’s not a frog, it’s mist!”
My three year old shouted, “What did we miss?!”
Sometimes I feel like it’s a Laurel and Hardy show around here..
Love this one! 🙂
That.Is.Awesome. Who’s on first? LOL
Our daughter isn’t quite 2, but is quite the talker. She hasn’t it’s hated out any unique pronounciations just yet, but she is quite fond of the phrase “good idea”
Sometimes we repeat her statements for clarity… Last night she informed me “I’m ‘a have some ice ceem before dinner” and when I repeated “you’re going to have ice cream before dinner?” she shouted “Good idea!!!!”
Ummm, ok iPhone… How badly did I misspell “busted” to have it autocorrect to “it’s hated”??? Weird.
Immoral – that is a good one.
My eldest boy gets words a bit wrong, or makes up new ones like ‘upsket’ (is upset + scared). My latest fave is ‘cush cush’ (or cous cous to you and me). Brilliant. We often adopt his words for our own – they are more interesting than standard English.
My kids have invented the word “crankled”. I finally figured out it’s a combination of “crinkled” and “mangled”, and pretty accurate!
Very cute. My daughter, who is still working on her pronunciation, when she sees anyone wearing a “blue shirt,” shouts “bull sh*t!” She doesn’t understand why people at church suddenly look at her with horrified expressions, and then us, with accusing ones. I wrote about it here:
http://raisedbymydaughter.blogspot.com/2012/05/bull-shite.html
And she doesn’t differentiate between s and sh very well. It’s fun to get her to say, “new shirt, sherlock,” and when she’s sitting on the potty, “Yook, daddy! sh*tting on the potty!”
With the word “fork,” things get completely out of control.
Hahaaa!!!
Hahaha, too funny. We had a moment of confusion when my son learned about backhoes during some construction on our street. It sounded just like “butt hole”. My husband and I were freaking out, giggling and trying not to show him that we thought it was funny, but too late…he shouted “Butt hole! Butt hole! Butt hole!” over and over again.
It’s so hard not to laugh…and the second you do, you’ve just guaranteed they’ll repeat it gleefully for the next tree years.
also, three years.
My 2 year old daycare kiddo says “bitch” instead of “fish” and he speaks everything in scream.
At the movie theatre, (he’s very animated and into movies), stands on the chair and yells “WATCH OUT GUY! THE BITCH IS GOING TO GET YOU!!!”
Sorry for the language:/
I almost spit my coffee!!
I’d love to watch Finding Nemo with him
When my nephew was about 2 or 3 he was asking everyone for “chicken ding dong “. Took us a while to realize he wanted more eggnog . The entire family has adopted chicken ding dong as our official holiday drink ever since.
LOLling so hard!
When my littlest sister was about 3 she announced she wanted a “gary”… apparently thats a sandwich…
Whereas my 2yo calls puddings “pubbings”…
You should have a warning for people who (wrongly) decide to read one of your posts at work: “may cause co-worker(s) to think you’re insane if you have a tendency to laugh out loud or tear-up while laughing”
Wish I had a cardboard cutout of Legolas!
We will all be telling these stories on our kids all their lives. When I met my future inlaws, one of the first stories I heard about my husband was how he mispronounced “dump truck” when he was growing up. Every time they passed one at a construction site it was “Hey, look at that big dump *uck!”. What is a future wife supposed to say to that over a spaghetti dinner?
When he was smaller, my nephew was BIG into airplanes, anything military, etc…So, one day he was playing with this soldiers and making them crash. He ran up and told us that there was a big KASPLOSHION! (explosion)…he’s now 12 and we still use that word!
Immoral Elves! I am totally stealing that for a child adventure for LARP. Hysterical!
I want some immoral elves to hang out with. Think of the fun!
that is too dang funny! I love the misused words so much 🙂
Ha! That is awesome!
My 4yr old son’s favourite thing to say at completely wrong times is “awkward”. He even says it in that sing songy way. It’s hilarious when what just happened was not awkward. But then it is. Laughing ensues.
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Love this! One of my 2 yr old son’s favorite food is corn right now. He saw me shucking some yesterday, “Mommy porn?” “Honey it’s Coorn.” “want porn!” Gawd, I’m still dying.
My 2-year old says “I’m horny!” because that is how he pronounces “hungry”. We try really hard to get him to say it the right way, because it is disconcerting when he looks up at me, hugs my leg, and says: “Mumma, I’m horny!” I am so worried he will say it to someone in public and they will be horrified.
BEST MALAPROPISM EVER!!! love ur kid!
At least when he starts dating there’ll be no confusion about his intentions.
Ha ha!
HA! I didn’t see this before I posted my comment. Mine did the same thing, we got more than a few sideways looks in public 🙂
My daughter, who was 3 at the time, coined the phrase “chicken paws”. This is what we now call chicken legs! You know, chicken paws.
Last year on Memorial Day, my then-four-year-old said, “Today was Monday but we didn’t go to school because it was Immoral Day.” Now that’s a good reason to stay home!
Yes, lock the doors on Immoral Day!
My nephew recently heard the word “orgasm” but didn’t know what it meant. My sister-in-law took him to an amusement park, and as they were going down on a roller-coaster he screamed: “Oh my God, I’m having an orgasm!!!”
My daughter thinks parmesan cheese is called Papa John cheese, because we get it in little packs when we order from Papa John’s Pizza. Sha also still calls lasagna, masagna. She’s almost seven , she doesn’t have many “cutieisms” left. Now I’m sad, sniff…sniff….
Of course, my 3 yr old calls her favorite chinese food, Elmo chicken. The rest of us still call it Sesame chicken. That does make me feel a little better 🙂
When my sister was very small, she was hysterically crying for her “dookles.” My mother had no idea what a “dookles” was and was frantically offering her everything in her room, which just made my sister cry harder. I, being four years older, was also clueless and, I am sure, was just making matters worse. My mom finally hit upon the correct item and all was right in the world. She wanted her blanket.
My wife and I provide care for a young woman with a developmental disability. She was explaining how a relative doesn’t like it when she makes a sudden change in plans by saying, “my Aunt doesn’t like it when I do things on the sperm of the moment”
It took everything I had not to laugh out loud. Just had to share!
My 3-year old granddaughter likes the Yo Gabba Gabba song “There’s a Party in my Tummy,” but she says “There’s a FARTy in my tummy.” Makes me laugh every time.
When my sister was about 8 she made a witticism that wasn’t properly appreciated. She put her hands on her hips and said “uhh! guys, I was being sarspastic!”.
We have a story in our family about my cousin’s youngest son. He was in a store with my aunt a few months ago and was complaining, loudly, that he wanted his pink dookie. For the life of her, my aunt could not figure out what he wanted (she thought maybe a potty break). Turns out, at the bakery at that store, they give kids a free pink COOKIE. 🙂
And closer to home, my 2-yr-old niece has an adorable little speech impediment where c’s come out as t’s. So everything is “tute” instead of “cute” (her favorite description of the moment).
Both of our girls have had trouble with various f-words sounding more like THE f-word. Once when our youngest was 2 and we were vacationing with my in-laws, she had been playing with a new picnic set from her grandma, unfortunately, she dropped a piece of plastic cutlery on the tile floor and it broke. She was quite distressed and yelled out what was meant to be “Fix it!”, but it came out more like “F**k it!”. I was very quick to translate for my parents-in-law!
Love the crumbs falling out of his mouth throughout. This is my life. My son learned the correct words for his anatomy and they come out “tentacles” and “Pinot.” makes for interesting conversations in public.
a friend’s daughter (a twin) said to me: “we’re eternal twins.” i think she met fraternal.
As a 3 year old with an English accent, my Scottish granda had trouble understanding me. One night at bedtime he turned my bedroom upside down looking for a tartan shirt. He got more frantic until my older sister pointed out I wanted the curtains shut.
When my daughter was about 18 months old she would say she was “horny” instead of hungry. She was so cute and tiny and she really did have a good vocabulary for her age. There she was, sippy cup in hand as she announced to a room full of people -” Mama, I so horny”… hahahaha 🙂
Oh thank you everyone, I laughed so hard at all of these! Treasure your kids and their wonderful craziness.
I know I’m late to the party but wanted to share anyway. My now 22 year old little brother called olives “wubbees”. Okay. He liked black “wubbees”, one on each fingertip for a snack. Then he started telling us “Wubbee you!” since olives are wubbees then olive must mean I love. He asked me with all seriousness regarding my boyfriend/now husband, “Is he your wubberboy?” That stuck. Yup, I’m still with my wubberboy, 19 years later. Life is good. Kids are hilarious.
My now fourteen-year-old daughter told her Grammy that she wanted to play Garbanzo. Turned out what she really wanted to play was Rapunzel.
I have a good one from when my sister was little, she was telling us all how bears go into carbonation in the winter!
Hi just wanted to give you a brief heads up and let you know a few of the pictures aren’t loading correctly. I’m not sure why but I think its a linking issue. I’ve tried it in two different web browsers and both show the same results.
When my mom and I went to get the kids from school, my little brother and his friends piled into the car looking panicked. We wondered why until one exclaimed,
“There’s a cooter on the loose!”
We tried so hard not to laugh.
“A WHAT is on the loose?”
My little brother says,
“It’s a cooter! Two of them!”
“Um…” Stifled giggles. “What is a cooter?”
“It’s a momma baby!”
What?
“Yeah, it’s a momma baby!”
After, our slightly older girl explained that a COUGAR had escaped from the local zoo. A baby and a momma cougar.
Heehee. Kids are funny.