I wonder what would happen…

I wonder what would happen if I wrote a post that just said:


and nothing else. 

This entry was posted in crappy pictures, life. Bookmark the permalink.

224 Responses to I wonder what would happen…

  1. Mary says:

    I just spit out my water laughing! Thankfully not on my keyboard since I knew ahead of time that there is always that risk with your blog. LMFAO

  2. Tina Worth says:

    I think what will happen is hundreds of women all over the world will do their kegels. Thanks for the reminder!

  3. Angela says:

    You never cease to crack me up! I love this blog! Kegels!

  4. Cat says:

    When ever I see this word, I have to do them!!!! LOL!

    • Cat says:

      Ahahah I saw this reply and thought “Wait, but I haven’t said anything yet!” *duh* I’m not the only one with this name….

      Also, thanks for the reminder!

  5. kevin says:

    you would end up with two kids walking around saying the same thing. only they would take it to a level you could never imagine.

  6. Sarah says:

    Someone might just wee themself laughing ๐Ÿ˜‰

  7. Lisa Lutes says:

    I would feel guilty and hope that this second pregnancy doesn’t have me still pissing myself every time I cough 6 months from now.

  8. Emily says:

    Well it just reminded me to do my Kegals! My gyno (and I’m sure a few others…) thank you!

  9. Sarah says:

    Oh my god, this is hilarous. Probably because I’m like 12 and just think teehee.

  10. Diana says:

    Everyone who reads this post will start doing their kegels at that moment. =)

  11. Elisabeth says:


  12. I think you just created the world’s largest simultaneous kegel session. You should consult Guiness’.

  13. Bria says:

    (You have to say this out loud) It gave me the giggles when you shouted kegels!

  14. Katie Herst says:

    I just peed a little from laughing. Damn you are right about those kegels!

  15. Samantha says:

    Thanks for the reminder, can you post this daily for say another 4 months? Just til July 6th, but I’ll let you know if it pops out any sooner…. LOL I have a horrible time remembering this.

  16. Susan says:

    Overrated and dont work. Try squats instead. ๐Ÿ™‚

  17. Judy says:

    Laughed out loud! And does anyone else think they’re as worthless as I do? Haven’t done me a DAMN bit of good! ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Samantha says:

      Ugh, I just shuddered when I read this blog entry. I don’t do kegels. Ever! And I’ve had 4 kids and don’t have any problems whatsoever with incontinence. Just sayin’.

  18. Amanda N. says:

    I just read this last week and thought it was very cool: http://journeytocrunchville.wordpress.com/2010/08/17/why-you-should-stop-doing-kegels/


  19. Grace says:

    I’m the odd one out, because I did so many Kegels I ended up TOO toned and had a kid who crowned and got stuck for an hour, and a second-degree tear. Even if I ever have another child, I will never do another Kegel!

  20. Sharon Wallace says:

    totally laughing out loud…..however we aren’t suppose to be doing kegels anymore there is new science saying that kegels are actually making things worse for us, just passing the word. http://mamasweat.blogspot.com.au/2010/05/pelvic-floor-party-kegels-are-not.html

    • amber says:

      ^ That is awesome, thanks for sharing this, I hadn’t seen it!

    • Lucinda says:

      Have none of you girls heard of wholewoman.com? The methods there have changed my life. I’m so much more gentle with my body now.

      No more kegels, no more leakage, and much more understanding of my body. Without that understanding you’re on your way to Prolapse City.

    • Samantha says:

      Thank God, cause those things are just evil!!

  21. Sara says:

    Well… I started doing mine. Thank you!

  22. RT says:

    hahahahaha!!! Well, actually… thank you for reminding me! I’m 7 months pregnant and have been forgetting to do them… woops!

  23. Susan says:

    LOL Thanks for the reminder!

  24. Megan says:

    I hate kegels! But this post was cute!

  25. sasha says:

    just came on to share the katy says / mamasweat link ๐Ÿ™‚

  26. Lauren says:

    you would probably get a bunch of women all of a sudden sitting at their computer doing kegels, LOL

  27. You make a lot of readers laugh, and one to wonder if maybe you might have yelled it out in public somewhere.

  28. Kina says:

    I don’t do kegels … I find that my vagina gets enough of a work out bc as a working mother who still manages to do most of her own childcare I end up holding pee for up to 5 hours at a time .. Not a drop! Livestrong vagina!

    • karen says:

      I totoally agree. I do them at times like this, lol. But otherwise never. I can hold my pee for HOURS ๐Ÿ™‚ I have 3 kids and i dont even leak when coughing/sneezing/laughing.

      • Melanie says:

        I couldn’t seem to hold it after I had my daughter, the sound of running water would cause such an accident, but eventually got better and now I can hold it forever too.

  29. Kayla says:

    LOL. Ha. This reminded me to find a post on kegel exercises for a friend of mine.

  30. Laura says:

    I inadvertently started doing them right when I read it…next time do one that says “Eat Nutella.” lol

  31. Sharon says:

    I think you should organize a Kegel-In. We may be able to shift the Earth’s tilt. It’s time to draw some much needed worldwide attention to perineal health. Probably we should include a 5K.

  32. Everyone would laugh and spit their drink or food out like I did!

  33. Kris says:

    I’m a recent convert to the squats plus kegels plan that was linked to above. But your shouting it still made me giggle.

  34. Zoe D. says:

    OMG! ๐Ÿ™‚

  35. Laura says:

    I would wonder how to pronounce it… and if it was a food…

  36. Jolleen says:

    And now hundreds of woman are laughing and doing their kegels! OB/GYN’s around the nation are applauding you!

  37. Sabine says:

    I just peed a little ; )

  38. Amy says:

    I shake my fist at the word! I did kegels so much after giving birth that I ended up in physical therapy to loosen up what the kegels created. Yes, I had Arnold Shwarza-gina.

  39. Jenna@CallHerHappy says:

    Ah yes. Thanks for reminding me!

  40. fl. says:

    Did it too

  41. Karin says:

    Maybe if I did some I would not have peed today while doing jumping jacks… thanks insanity. (and my 2 children) hahaha

  42. HH says:

    There is nothing more funny than you, Crappy Mom. And then in second place is all your readers and their comments! I llve this blog!

  43. Megan says:

    You’d have at least one reader (me) wondering if you’re expecting number three ๐Ÿ™‚

  44. Megan Hinkle says:

    I never do these, I just never remember. Thanks for the laugh!

  45. Mum to 6 says:

    I have lost hope that these will help me, but I did have a laugh.

  46. Gena says:


  47. Angela says:

    I wonder if there are any men reading thinking what is kegels? Is that a new doughnut or pastry?

    • Sam says:

      some men know what this is. ๐Ÿ™‚ i was supposed to always remind my wife to practice.

      • LiteralDan says:

        Same here, Sam. It was a lost cause, though. On the plus side, having to think of it so often probably gave me pretty good perineal toning, myself.

        They should start grading bodybuilders on this, I think, just for the spectators’ entertainment, watching the judges’ faces as they get to that check box.

    • Jess says:

      My husband texted me to ask! Lol!

  48. Anna says:

    If you did this post more often we might all have stronger vag muscles….

  49. Diana says:

    And only a woman would get it!

  50. Julie says:

    Maybe if I did them more often I wouldn’t have just peed myself. Lol can always count on you for a laugh

  51. Sam says:

    I did it, too… and I’m a guy!

  52. Laura T. says:

    I should make that picture my wallpaper! Though ideally I would need a couple more that say “Eat something” and “Move the laundry”.

  53. Charleston says:

    You know if you need to do kegels more often when;
    You jump on a trampoline
    You have a sneezing fit
    You get seriously tickled
    You run to school

  54. Lauren B says:

    Nobody would read it but we would all pretend we did. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  55. melissa says:

    thank you for the reminder! Every day ladies!

  56. Justina says:

    Hahaha…oh..ah man I just peed a little. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  57. Darcy! says:

    And I see my doc tomorrow… I’m sure she’ll be proud of this post. ๐Ÿ™‚ Woo kegels!!!!!

  58. dave says:

    I did a pregnancy yoga DVD with my wife once for her first pregnancy. All of a sudden, the woman starts talking about kegels. “Wait, we’re not doing anything,” I innocently said. “Yes we are,” my wife replied. That moment marked the last time I did a pregnancy yoga DVD with my wife.

  59. Jen says:

    Oh yes, so funny! I just did some.

  60. Mike says:

    As one of your dad readers, I did it too. In solidarity.

  61. Miriam says:

    So funny! Like others, it was a good reminder. Can you please post this each day?

  62. Richain h says:

    I just read an interesting article about levels and how they actually (if done too often) cause more havoc down there than good. Must find the link. Although I admit…this is hilarious!

  63. Lisa says:

    And Squeeze!

  64. Carrie H says:

    This was hilarious and the comments are making me laugh!

  65. Eva says:

    My midwife will be pleased that I actually did them just now.

  66. Terri says:

    I laughed out loud and then dutifully did a few squeezes.

  67. Amanda says:

    I had to read the comments to know what you meant – as far as I know they’re just called Pelvic Floor Exercises here in the UK. I prefer Kegels (and of course did a few….)

  68. Beth O says:

    You’ve got me wondering if you have a Crappy Fetus! ๐Ÿ™‚

  69. Angela says:

    yeah … SQUEEZE … whatever. Never worked for me. After 5 kids we are talking total reconstruction down there. Kegel, schmegel.

  70. Erin says:

    I would laugh so very hard, and then say “AMEN!”

  71. Carole says:

    Omg, I needed this sooooooo bad today!!

  72. Amanda Taylor says:

    I think she is trying to tell us she is expecting?

  73. Celena says:

    I would do kegels…. because I usually pee my pants from laughing so hard when I read your blog ๐Ÿ˜‰

  74. Stephanie says:

    LOL I did a few myself after reading. I’m going to steal this idea and post just that on my FB status and see what happens…LMAO

  75. Michelle says:

    LOVE! By the way, I am a physical therapist that specializes in pelvic physical therapy…many of the commenters are correct in that Kegels are not the best exercises for pelvic floor strengthening.

    Thanks for the laugh and for a great discussion! ๐Ÿ™‚

  76. jen says:

    When I was a first time mom attending birth classes the teacher told us to do them every time we got stopped at a red light….phew…that’s ALOT of kegels. She also told us one of the new dads in the parenting group came up behind her in line at the grocery store and said….”So (called her by name) are you doing your kegels while standing in line? ” she thought it was funny….I find it kinda creepy!

  77. Amanda says:

    Lol, now my kids are looking at me like I’ve lost my mind I’m laughing so hard, but I have to agree on the sahm angle … I can hold it forever!

  78. Sally says:

    Haahaa being the busy mum that I am I often find myself reading your posts in the iPhone while im (sorry if TMI) on the toilet, so here I am doing my kegals (and other stuff) and of corse my son (2) comes in with 2 minute noodles and a bowl…… Gotta love mother hood ๐Ÿ˜€

  79. Jennifer Reed says:

    I’d probably laugh and pee a little b/c I haven’t been doing mine! ๐Ÿ™‚

  80. Annie says:

    HAHA! Thanks for the reminder! =)

  81. Janette says:

    Ha ha ha! …said the person that safely laughed withOUT wetting her pants because she DID kegel and cross her legs while laughing & coughing. ;-D Maybe you should warn us before the punch line on your posts with a quick “KEGEL Warning!” frame so we can prepare. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  82. Wolfy says:


  83. Sheri O. says:

    Just another sweet reminder that I never did enough of those darn things! So now I cannot laugh out loud or run more than 10 feet without peeing on myself – oh the joy!

  84. Falling Molly says:

    Wow!!! So glad I was lazy about my kegels. These comments have officially disturbed me and my lazy pee pee area.

  85. Herbwifemama says:

    You need to turn this post into a sticker and distribute them women’s health workers (midwives, obgyns, doulas…)


  86. Constance says:

    I read recently that kegels can actually weaken your pelvic floor, and the real muscle we post childbirth women should be doing are excercises to strengthen our glutes! http://mamasweat.blogspot.com/2010/05/pelvic-floor-party-kegels-are-not.html

  87. Ellie says:

    Flexing as I type. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  88. Jo says:

    Pretend you’re sitting on a marble and bring it up the elevator … 1 … 2 … 3 … 4 … 5 … and back down the elevator … 1 … 2 … 3 … 4 … 5.

    Reminds me of one of my favorite parts of this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RVA-A0RqkhM&feature=relmfu

  89. Angela says:


  90. Gina Kegel says:

    Lol. That’s my last name. So I’d assume the post was just for me. Hey thanks!

  91. kiwibunnz says:

    I’d just go ‘what???’ Guessing it’s American for Pelvic Floor Exercises? Good tip is to do them whenever you see a red dot. A stop light is a red dot for example. They’re everywhere actually. Happy kegeling everyone ๐Ÿ™‚

  92. Esther says:

    ahh, just the word makes me a little sweaty and queasy. is there perhaps a reason you are reminding us about these? ๐Ÿ˜‰

  93. Laura says:

    Kegels: It rhymes with BAGELS!

  94. Andrea says:

    Okay, you just gave me flashbacks. This is *EXACTLY* the sort of thing my mother would randomly verbally vomit at me, usually when a friend was over. It would go something like this: Friend & I are in my room, hanging out, listening to new music, complaining about some assignment, or chatting about boys of some sort (either cute or stupid. Or both.). Anyway, without warning, my mother would fling my door open, pop her head in and make some rather random – and usually extremely awkward and embarrassing – proclamation. Such as “KEGELS! Girls, KEGELS!” … and then shut the door. Yes, really. So. Um….yeah, thanks for that little trip down memory lane. You are fricking hilarious.

  95. p says:

    clenching isn’t an option anymore (4 kids later, let that be a lesson to those of you with 2!), so the pee just runs out a little more vigorously reading the Crappy Posts. The danger of kegels is they could lead to a level of personal confidence that could lead to sex, and we all know now what that could lead to! biology – fool me three times, shame on it – fool me four times, shame on me!

  96. Bethany says:

    Are you expecting?

  97. Stephanie says:

    Did it!

  98. Kathryn says:

    Totally laughed out loud and flexed.

  99. Kara says:

    And this is why I love you…in a totally, non-creepy, Internet-stranger way.

  100. Kat says:

    I would laugh, clench…and immediately send a link to my pregnant sister-in-law telling her to bookmark now as she’ll read this like it’s crack…or ice cream…soon enough.

  101. Misty says:

    Teach your children the word, and every time they say it, get busy! Strongest hoo-hoo ever!

  102. Cindy says:

    I just about did a spit-take all over my laptop! I JUST got it back from Apple today after my kid poured his bubbles on it. Damn you! LMAO

  103. Ellen says:

    You can do them anywhere, any table, any chair…

    And the best is, no-one knows. Unless you make a funny concentrating face like I do. But maybe they just think I’m trying to do a pooh. Oh wait, I am not my toddler.

  104. Cassidy Johnson says:

    I’ll tell you what happened….I just did a involuntary kegel.

  105. Amy K. says:

    Crappy comments are awesome.

    And I think we need a ’cause’ bracelet now.

  106. marymargaret says:

    I am curious how many of us instinctively contracted those kegels upon reading this post!? LOL

  107. woolies says:

    lol, thanks for the reminder.
    Was at the dr for a checkup not long ago. She reminded me too. :)))

  108. angie says:

    as always, a good laugh…thank you:)

  109. Krystina says:

    Don’t do it! That’s what I think of! That link, waay ^ up there, is what I’d post! ๐Ÿ™‚ gets me off the hook ๐Ÿ™‚

  110. Jenny says:

    That is crazy. Coincidentally, this is what I read immediately after I finished reading this article about how Kegels are NOT actually as good as we’ve been led to believe: http://mamasweat.blogspot.com/2010/05/pelvic-floor-party-kegels-are-not.html?spref=fb

  111. Jade says:

    Is this an American thing? Over in Australia they are called “pelvic floor exercises”.
    So I actually had to look up what Kegel was hehe.

    • LiteralDan says:

      It’s just the name of the American doctor who came up with the idea, apparently. I think it’s like products known by their original brand names in one country, and by a generic name in another.

      One thing you can say for it, is “Kegels” is a lot shorter. Also, it’s a handy word to rhyme with “bagels”, should you ever find yourself stuck in a breakfast-food-related poem.

  112. katie says:

    Squeeeeezed whilst reading. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  113. boilerduck says:

    My doctor says the nest way to do one is to pretend you are sharing an elevator with George Clooney and are trying to hold in a fart for five floors!

  114. Ashleytheislander says:

    It’s funny because I’m in some mommy groups online where people post “Kegels!” randomly sometimes to remind people, lol!

    But I’ve read that link posted above about before how kegels can do more harm than good. I was relieved because I REFUSE to do kegels, lol! I hate them. I never do any, yet I had two great natural births without a stitch either time AND I’ve never peed myself even a little while pregnant or afterwards. Not to brag or anything ๐Ÿ˜‰

  115. Jenny says:

    snort…as if. after five babies, i really just have to wrap a bungie cord around my hips.

  116. Chrissy says:

    Personally, women bragging about the fact that they have never peed themselves and that they can hold their pee for hours just bums me out. Aren’t I supposed to be laughing here?

    • Windy says:

      I have wet myself many times…five kids…twins…it’s a given. I may not always laugh about it, but others do! ๐Ÿ™‚

  117. astrid jain says:

    Hillarious and as an ob/gyn, I say THANK YOU!

  118. Windy says:

    I would say…wish I would have done them durring and after the twins….

  119. Kelley Ward says:

    Lol doing kegels right now thanks for the reminder also glad I had 3 c- sections!!

  120. Shelley West says:

    Clench and release…

  121. Erica says:

    I am a medical student doing clinicals in an OB/gyn practice right now and I am constantly telling women to practice their kegels. It always a nice reminder for me.. But honestly you’d be surprised how many women don’t even know what they are!! Love your blog ๐Ÿ™‚ you crack me up!

  122. Vivian Bouza says:

    Noooooooo! Don’t do Kegels!!! The actually hurt your pelvic floor!!! Squat people, squat!!! There is new research out…


  123. Kira says:

    I went ahead and saved it as my desktop wallpaper so I have a daily reminder. And to confuse my husband. But then he will thank you! As will every time I sneeze!

    You are too funny btw.

  124. Kenzie says:

    The one good thing about a c-section – no kegals!

  125. Cara says:

    Well, I learned something. I have only read “kegels” on American websites and assumed it was pronounced “key-guls”. Never knew it rhymed with bagels. It’s all “pelvic floor exercises” here.

  126. Karyn says:



  127. Cydonia says:

    No one ever told me to do kegels regularly while pregnant, but I read about it on American sites. lol! I dunno… I figured out “kegels” (just didn’t know what it was called) when I was 11 or 12 and I was discovering masturbation. I never had to “practice” them during pregnancy because I’ve used them my whole life for better orgasms. Isn’t this what they’re for?? I couldn’t imagine NOT using those muscles for that, and I definitely don’t have any bad side effects from it. Maybe it’s not good to do them as often as people say for practice, but fine for regular use. lol!

  128. Bex says:

    It’s not often that word comes up twice in one day for me! My sister is in labor as I am typing this and she said she was grateful for doing them all the time. Weird.

  129. Liza says:

    As recommended by The Society of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists of Canada: SQUEEZE – HOLD – RELAX 10 to 20 times 3 to 4 times a day.

    Are these people insane? I’m supposed to be thinking about whatever a “pelvic floor” is all freaking day? This cannot be correct. I find it outrageous. OUTRAGEOUS!

  130. kayk says:


    Just as long as you don’t shout something like “Fart!” or I think us mama-lemmings might try and squeak one off ๐Ÿ™‚

    (sorry I have 4 boys and a husband, we have enough flatulence-humor and methane to fill a goodyear blimp)

  131. nikita says:

    When I brought this up, it was just the word and the head of your picture… I was a bit nervous to scroll down! You are too funny.

  132. grateful dad says:

    wow. 190+ comments within a day.

    do you realize how powerful you are? no, seriously, 190+ comments within a day of posting a single word. wow.

  133. Abi says:

    If you say Kegels, I would say Hypopressives. Much more effective. Demostrated.

  134. Michelle B says:

    LOL – Of course, What else!

  135. Rachel says:

    Love this so much!

  136. Kira says:

    Thanks for the reminder, this is hilarious and I should print this and put it on my wall.

  137. Julie says:

    I am a doula and childbirth educator, and I think there is something to be said for that article on doing squats instead. The reality is, though, that you actually do kegels while squatting. So do both, girls! It makes sex better, and will keep you from having surgery later life!

  138. Renada says:

    Oh right! My midwife told me to start doing these. I HATE doing kegels, but I hate peeing on myself more.

  139. Anna says:

    Hi Amber,

    I have been reading your blog for several months now and have never commented before. However, I wanted to write to you today to ask for your help with something. I was recently sent a video link from the organization Invisible Children (www.invisiblechildren.com) about a worldwide effort that is underway to stop a man named Joseph Kony, the leader of the rebel army in Uganda. Joseph Kony’s army has been capturing children and turning them into child soldiers for more than 20 years. These kids are yanked from their beds in the middle of the night. The girls are turned into sex slaves and the boys are made to kill their parents and mutilate the people they are force to kill.

    This terrible injustice is heart-wrenching and I want to tell everyone I know about it. I do not have a strong voice on the internet, but I know that you do. I also know that this isn’t really at all what your website is for, and I know that it’s hard to make a one-time exception, but I thought this was important enough to ask you to please watch the video and consider re-posting it. Here is the link:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4MnpzG5Sqc

    I know that itโ€™s asking a lot, but these kids need someone to stand up and let them know that we care about what happens.

    Thank you so much for your consideration.

    • Kira says:

      I’m sorry, but that is the last thing I’d want to read about on this funny blog. I come here for humor, not to hear about what is going on in the world. I do support the movement to stop kony though!

  140. Charlotte says:

    Having never given birth through my vagina (sadface ๐Ÿ™ ) I don’t need to do them. Also, I need to loosen it up down there, not tighten it more.

  141. Brenda L.W. says:

    Ha! We’re like a Pavlov’s dogs. But following that line of thinking, we should be getting a reward. Is this leading up to a contest? ๐Ÿ˜‰

  142. Bethy says:

    So this site is so amazing. I just stumbled across it today via pinterest. I love love love all of these posts. (laughing my butt off at work while people give me a weird look.)

  143. alison says:

    I liked this just so I could “like” a post about kegels. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  144. BeccaJo says:

    I would like to thank Kegels. When they told me to push I had that baby out in 9 minutes. ๐Ÿ™‚

  145. Terri says:

    3 pregnancies + 3 c-sections + 1 tubal ligation = 0 kegals

    werd 2 da mutha

  146. Thanks for reminding me!

  147. FElicia says:

    I feel dirty, group-kegeling with all you strangers like this. . . .

  148. Emma S says:

    At first I was like ๐Ÿ˜€ Yay kegels time! But then I read all the nay-sayers’ comments, and my face went *blooooop*. <onomatopoeia for sad/disappointed expression.

    I agree overdoing it is bad, but I wouldn't say DON'T kegel since all the women in my family do it and NONE of us have had problems, even my granny who has had several children and mother who has had a few as well.

    I squat all the time in the shower to shave my legs (especially now, giant pregnant belly in way of bending over) and have never had to pee. I'm not sure I believe that lady. Wouldn't squatting + peeing be pressing on your muscles?

    This is so confusing. D; *kegel rant over*

  149. Baker Becky says:

    Since I just found your blog recently, I am waaaay behind the game….but I have to tell you…..doing my kegels! Thanks for the reminder! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  150. lawahine says:

    You’re awesome.